Family Celebration

 

Family Christmas

Christmas, birthdays,  celebration treats!

Funerals, Weddings, Family meets!

 

Mum always stressed about the food

Dad always in a grumpy mood.

 

Grandma didn’t want to come

Dad didn’t want his in-law mum.

 

Then a row between the brothers

On who got what from departed others.

 

Baby sicks up on fluffy rug

Grandma laughs and drops beer mug.

 

Dad shouts ‘You won’t come again!’

Grandma cheers, laughs like a drain.

 

Rants ‘Rue the day you met my daughter!’

Dad calls police just to thwart her.

 

Police take Grandma to a cell

Refuse to take the kids as well.

 

Now Mum and Dad do row a lot

About Gran’s bail and who pays what!

 

Dad says ‘she aint worth a penny’

And Mum, at Christmas, hasn’t any.

 

So Grandma stays in cell for season!

Laughs to herself for real good reason.

 

No more celebration ‘do’!

Queue, as uncle’s drunk in loo.

 

No looking daft as deaf aid’s broken

And cannot hear the words they’ve spoken.

 

No more sitting in the corner

With foot in mouth as no-one warned her.

 

And never’s better than being late

With that daughter’s good-for-nothing  mate!

 

Next year before that celebration

Someone please plan arbitration.

 

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